Am feeling pretty down on myself right now.  No, I take that back – I’m feeling *very* down on myself.  I think I inadvertently caused a fracture in a friendship that is super important to me, ironically in an attempt to NOT cause any problems to begin with.  My original action caused a misunderstanding that has festered since last week, I’m pretty sure.  I’m going to make every effort to heal the rift, because it’s all the result of a misunderstanding, along with a extra-larger than normal overdose of me being stupid.  I’m just a dummy sometimes.  I let my emotions get the best of me; I lose perspective; I try to do the right thing but end up causing more problems than were there to begin with.

What am I going to tell my friend?  For starters, that I’m sorry.  That I think I know what I did that caused the problem and that I regret it. I’m going to let my friend know why I did what I did, as stupid as it was, and hope that by way of explanation (not of excuse) that we can eventually move forward.  I’m going to say that they deserve better actions from their friends, and that I hope – from the bottom of my heart – that they’ll accept my apology.

Separately, I’m also feeling grief and empathy and sympathy for someone who is really suffering right now.  I don’t know what I can do except send out warm thoughts and hope for the best, and pray for healing.  I’m not normally a prayerful sort of person – never have been – but boy, if there’s a Big Guy up there somewhere watching over us, and able to help someone in need, I hope he acts now.