“There is only one way to happiness, and that is to stop worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”

- Epictetus

Some nights, when I find myself in the grip of a particularly unshakeable insomnia, I am reminded of the Tom Wolfe novel “A Man In Full.” This is the work that first exposed me to the details of Stoic philosophy. We all know what stoicism connotes: things like quietude, acceptance, resignation. But there’s a real, active power involved in capital-S stoicism, if you take it literally. By disengaging oneself from the things beyond one’s control, you essentially remove yourself from the battlefield, and stop fighting on others’ terms. Think “teleportation for the soul.”

As oft attractive as Stoicism can be, it’s not really for me. I like – and I think the world requires – active engagement, even where you lack access to all the levers necessary to affect the outcome. Take insomnia for example. A Stoic approach would be to stop fighting it, and perhaps take up an evening hobby, but I think struggle – whether ultimately successful or not – helps define who we are; tells ourselves and others what’s important to us; and helps prepare us for other important challenges in the future.

I can’t place the quote, since I’m writing this on my iPhone, but someone once said something to the effect of “the only things worth having are worth fighting for.” This is about as anti-Stoic as it gets. I’m also reminded of the quote I read over the school loudspeaker in April 1989, following the reading of the morning bulletin: “It’s better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.” I’m guessing that Rudyard Kipling probably had some useful things to say about “fight[ing] the good fight.” And then of course there’s the ageless “Never say die!”

So are you facing a problem, part or most of which is outside your control? Face it. Be conscious of it, take its measure, gain some perspective. And fight. Attempt to claim the outcome you want. What you lose in happiness (as defined by Epictetus) you’ll gain back tenfold in self-awareness. And you never know – you may prevail.